Posted by on Feb 2, 2013 in Art and Crafts, Comics | 7 comments

One of this week’s DS106 assignments is to write about our biggest fear. But my tiny fears are so elaborate and vividly imagined that it seemed a waste not to focus on them. If you remember that I’m a woman who moved to Morocco solo, regularly hikes cross-country into unfamiliar mountains, successfully fended off an attempted mugging, travels around Europe alone, and recently punched a stranger in the street,1 it’ll be funnier.

My Smallest Fears
I'm afraid that my electric mixer will spiral out of control, spontaneously ejecting the metal whisks, propelling them into my face in a deadlhy spin, and splattering my kitchen with raw batter. Every time I reach into a sink drain, I am afraid the garbage disposal will turn on by itself and mangle my hand. I'm afraid of sharks in every deep swimming pool. I'm afraid of being hunted and eaten by wild dogs during my morning run. Whenever I am in a bed that has a large, framed picture hanging over it, I am afraid it will fall and kill me in my sleep. Sometimes I still check for monsters in my closet. After killing a cockoach, I worry that its body will burst open and baby cockroaches will come pouring out. I am afraid of primate smiles. The THX sound effect fills me with dread. I am afraid that I will contract ebola and die a horrible, gruesome death. I am afraid of voyages on any boat larger than a dinghy. In every outhouse I use, I am afraid of sitting on a black widow spider.

  1. Not connected with the mugging attempt. []