1. They climbed the hill in silly costumes, with pantyhose over their heads, and began to play strange instruments. Pretty sure one of them was banging on a drum with an oversized kitchen whisk.

When I was in elementary school, I used to complain about stomach aches all the time to get out of math class.¹ And when I say all the time, I mean all the time. The school nurse knew me. She could even recognize my footsteps and my knock. Anyway, being an extremely patient and sympathetic woman (perhaps she didn’t like math either), she always let me stay. I would hop up onto the spare cot with a Where’s Waldo book and spend the next half hour searching through the pages.

So after stumbling across downtown Silver Spring with a vicious zombie horde,² I found myself seated next to undead Waldo for a special screening of Shaun of the Dead! It was like a dream (nightmare?) come true!³ Here he is at the bar before the walk:⁴

The great thing that I discovered about Halloween in the city (versus good ol’ Fredericksburg) is that festivities go on for at least a week preceding the actual day! This meant that after the zombie walk on October 24th, I still had a whole week of events to look forward to! Highlights included a screening of Nosferatu at AFI with a live orchestra providing the soundtrack, trick-or-treating as Charlie Chaplin, and a Halloween in Paris party at Bistro Napoleon, where I spotted one of my favorite costumed pairs of all time:

Fantastic, right? Happy Halloween, and don’t forget to mail me your leftover candy!

1. What can I say? Math gives me a stomach ache ;)
2. Yes, I dressed as a zombie too, complete with slashed throat and blood-smeared face.
3. I think I alarmed him with my enthusiasm.
4. If you love Waldo as much as I do, you’ll be thrilled to know that the DC Defenestrators staged live-action Waldo searches in the city recently. The fun never ends!

As promised, here are my four most recent paintings. They’re actually finished, which is more than I can usually say! We’ll see about continuing this trend.

Everyone should have blue skin.

spring

summer

fall

Voila! I’m going to save up for a couple of canvases² so next time I don’t have to paint on paper.

1. Have I lost you yet?
2. Did you know: en française, ‘canvas’ is ‘toile’. Not to be confused with etoile or toilette.

Fun fact: basking sharks are very common in Cornwall, and fishermen/divers/tourists often encounter them as they rise to the surface to inhale plankton and small fish. The sharks, not the tourists.² They’re pretty silly looking,³ and are normally six to eight meters long.

1. They almost lived up to the hype. The crust was delicious and flaky (the best I’ve had in a pasty), but the filling could have done with a bit more steak and a bit less swede (rutabaga).
2. What I wouldn’t give to see a tourist inhale plankton.
3. Well, that could be the tourists…

“Saturday Night” brings retellings of myths and fairy tales into a contemporary atmosphere through an unusual setting: a bar that—instead of serving drinks—serves stories. Characters go to this bar for the same reasons one usually does: companionship, escape, distraction, stress relief, solace, and entertainment, for example. Each retelling addresses its reader in some way, though it’s not always enjoyable or comforting. But then, some of the characters aren’t that pleasant either.

For a retelling of “Sleeping Beauty”:

“Snow White”:

“Little Mermaid” retelling:

Poetry retelling of “Pygmalion and Galatea”:

My mother is the kind of person who loves to memorize and recite poems, and introduced me to one of my most memorable childhood pleasures: cautionary poems by Hilaire Belloc. If you’re unfamiliar with Belloc’s work (if you were brought up outside the British Isles or after the early 1900′s, for example), then you’re in for a treat. A well-known author in his time, Belloc wrote numerous essays and historical texts, but I remember him for his fantastic, morally superior (and often vindictive) children’s poems.¹ With titles like “Rebecca, Who Slammed Doors For Fun And Perished Miserably”, Belloc’s poems are irresistible. They’ve delighted me for years², and they’ll probably delight you too. Even better, you can find out now! (Click to listen.)³

1. JIM, Who ran away from his Nurse, and was eaten by a Lion. ⁴
   
2. HENRY KING, Who chewed bits of string, and was early cut off in Dreadful agonies.
   
3. MATILDA, Who told Lies and was Burned to Death

(text only)

4. FRANKLIN HYDE, Who caroused in the Dirt and was corrected by His Uncle
5. GODOLPHIN HORNE, Who was cursed with the Sin of Pride, and, Became a Boot-black
   
6. ALGERNON, Who played with a Loaded Gun, and, on missing his Sister, was reprimanded by his Father.
   
7. HILDEBRAND, Who was frightened by a Passing Motor, and was brought to reason.
   
8. LORD LUNDY, Who was too Freely Moved to Tears, and thereby ruined his Political Career.
   
9. LORD LUNDY (Second Canto)
   
10. REBECCA, Who Slammed Doors For Fun And Perished Miserably
    
11. GEORGE, Who played with a Dangerous Toy, and suffered a Catastrophe of considerable Dimensions.
    
12. CHARLES AUGUSTUS FORTESCUE, Who Always Did what was Right, and so Accumulated an Immense Fortune
    

1. Illustrated by–who else–Edward Gorey.
2. I don’t know what this says about me, or about me as a child. Probably explains a lot.
3. Recordings courtesy of the wonderful Librivox.org.
4. Hey Reverend, this one’s for you.

TEASER:

UMW students are–in general–pretty apathetic, except when they get riled up about silly things like this. Most of the “news segment” is scripted, all is exaggerated.

–

EXT. ALLEY

Alley in town, angled light. GIRL enters, looking around sadly at the ground, searching.

Passes a HOMELESS GUY,

who is tracing/drawing the outline of a shoe on the ground with a piece of chalk over and over, around and around, while staring at nothing.

EXT. TOWN SQUARE

GIRL enters a square, crosses it, sits down.

SHE peels a clementine, the peel spiraling in one piece.

SHE looks at a closed door nearby.

Looks down.

Stands and slowly makes her way over to the door. Knocks.

Enjoy!