Chapstick Cookies ((This blog is in no way affiliated with ChapStick, Pfizer, or anyone else in the lip-hydrating industry. In fact, you can use any old tube of lip balm, a large pen cap, or other cylindrical device with the correct diameter.))

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 cup butter, softened
• 2/3 cup white sugar
• 1/2 tsp almond extract
• 2 cups flour ((I only ended up using about 1.5 cups.))
• 1/2 cup jam (I used strawberry, but any flavor would be delicious.)
• a sprinkling of confectioner’s sugar

Preheat your oven to 350°F (180°C). If you have a convection (fan) oven, preheat to 300°F (150°C).

In a medium sized bowl, cream together butter and sugar until smooth. Mix in the almond extract. Add flour gradually until the dough reaches a clay-like consistency. Don’t put in too much flour ((You will probably have some left over.)) and be sure not to overwork the dough!

Roll the dough into 1-inch balls, about the diameter of a quarter, dirham, or euro coin.

Without flattening, press a hold in the center of each ball with your chapstick tube or similar cylindrical instrument. Each indentation should be about halfway into the ball.

Fill each hole to the top with jam, being careful not to let it overflow.

Chill your baking trays in the freezer for ten minutes to stiffen up the dough, then bake for 15-20 minutes in your preheated oven. Cookies should still be soft and light in color when finished, but will harden as they cool. Mine cracked a little, but I didn’t really care.

Sprinkle lightly with confectioner’s sugar, then hide them somewhere so you don’t have to share.

Makes at least 24 bite-sized cookies.

WRONG!

Oh, dear muffin grumbler, you haven’t had these banana muffins. These are not garden-variety, bring-to-your-in-laws-after-a-panicked-last-minute-stop-at-the-grocery-store-because-you-can’t-arrive-empty-handed muffins. These are banana walnut chocolate chip muffins. You heard me right. Banana walnut chocolate chip. Moist on the inside with crunchy surprises, gooey pockets of melted chocolate, and sparkling sugar crystal tops, these are the kind of muffins you eat three and four at a time, sputtering crumbs as you insist to horrified onlookers, “But it’s okay… they’re healthy. They’re banana.”

 Nut Your Chipical Banana Muffin  ((It has been scientifically proven that recipes are always better with a pun.))

INGREDIENTS: ((Adapted from this recipe.))

• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 5 medium-sized overripe bananas
• 1 cup brown sugar
• 3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, melted and cooled
• 2 eggs
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1/2 cup walnuts, chopped
• 2/3 cup chocolate chips
• sugar crystals for the tops

Preheat oven to 375°F (190°C). Lightly butter your muffin tin(s) or line with paper cups.

In one bowl, combine flour, baking soda, and salt. In a second, smaller bowl, mash two of the bananas with a fork until mushy, but still lumpy. Set both bowls aside.

In a third bowl, combine the remaining bananas and sugar, then whip with an electric mixer for about 3 minutes. ((You can do this by hand, though it’ll take a bit longer.)) Add the melted butter, eggs, and vanilla, then continue to beat until reasonably smooth.

Dump in the dry ingredients and mix until blended. Gently fold in the nuts, hand-mashed banana, ((It’s still sitting over in the corner, right?)) and chocolate chips.

Fill each muffin tin about two-thirds of the way with batter. The original recipe suggests rapping the filled muffin tin on your counter to eliminate air pockets. Do it if you think it’ll be fun.

Shove your future muffins into the oven and bake for 18-20 minutes, until a toothpick ((Or fork, for the more environmentally conscious chefs out there, or those living in a country where toothpicks are hard to come by.)) comes out clean. They will be very moist on the inside and light to medium golden brown on the tops. Don’t forget to sprinkle sugar crystals across the top!

Apparently you’re supposed to let these cool for a few minutes, but sometimes molten chocolate is worth roof-of-the-mouth burns. You decide.

Here is one batch baked with a convection oven… ((More photos on Flickr.))

And a second batch without. They were equally tasty. ((If crusty muffin tops are your thing, bake with a fan or at a higher temperature for a shorter length of time. If you prefer perfectly rounded muffin tops, bake without fan for the original time. I was going to make a joke about skipping the gym and eating fatty foods to achieve an impressive muffin top, but I just couldn’t pull it off.))

Makes 18 small muffins or 12 large ones, which will take you approximately four minutes to devour.

I smuggled it home
and then made this recipe
just for all of you

quinoa stuffed peppers
a recipe in haiku
cooking poetry

the ingredients
(an assortment of healthy
vegetables… plus cheese)

1 cup of quinoa
3 green peppers and 1 red
(with their tops removed)

1 can of chick peas
1 cup of tomato sauce
2 diced tomatoes

2 small zucchinis
2/3 cups grated cheddar
1 small onion, chopped

half-teaspoon fennel
half-teaspoon oregano
half-teaspoon basil

one pinch black pepper
2 teaspoons of olive oil
1/2 teaspoon salt

—

cooking directions
the best stuffed peppers you’ve had
are easy to make

I.
preheat your oven
to three-fifty fahrenheit
(one-eighty celsius)

II.
combine dry quinoa
with two cups water, then boil
reduce heat, cover

III.
simmer fifteen min
or until all the water
is fully absorbed

IV.
sauté the onions
and garlic in oil until
slightly translucent

V.
stir in tomato,
zucchini, and all spices
sauté five minutes

VI.
add tomato sauce,
chickpeas, and spices to taste
cover and simmer

VII.
after five minutes
mix in quinoa, fill peppers
top with pepper lids

VIII.
bake fifteen minutes
until peppers are roasted
then remove the lids

IX.
sprinkle cheese on top
bake for five minutes or till
golden and bubbling

X.
eat your stuffed peppers:
vast cascades of melted cheese
a hidden surprise

But I didn’t. You heard me. Until two months ago, I didn’t know how to make roasted potatoes. Sure, I’d tried sporadically over the years; usually well-intentioned efforts at replicating my father’s delicious rosemary potato slices or late night hash brown attempts. I could microwave a baked potato from the age of six. I could sautée potatoes with onions. I could bake potato and egg breakfast casseroles. And like any self-respecting half-Jew, I could fry a decent latke. But every time I tried roasting, the world’s easiest potato-cooking method, I ended up with a pan full of charred and shriveled potato corpses littered with rosemary-flavored ashes.

Enough was enough! After learning that an elementary school-aged acquaintance of mine roasted potatoes regularly for his family, I had to preserve the small amount of dignity left to me. So I buckled down, and–after scrutinizing dozens of recipes to ascertain whether they’d be Serena-proof–I began roasting. ((Well, first I chopped and seasoned and mixed, but after that I roasted.))

You could say this is a family recipe, though I’m not sure any of my family members have made potatoes quite like this. Nevertheless, the rosemary reminds me of my father’s garden and summer breakfasts in his house, the paprika is inspired by my part-Hungarian grandmother, who seems to put paprika on nearly everything with great success, and the feta is a habit instilled by a cousin who taught me to love non-Italian cheeses, no matter how suspicious they might smell.

Feta-p With Baked, Boiled, Sautéed, and Mashed Potatoes (Or: Roast Potatoes for Ashamed Cooks Who Have Never Successfully Roasted Them Before)

INGREDIENTS:

• 2 pounds potatoes (I prefer small potatoes, like fingerlings, because you can easily cut them into adorable little wedges)
• 1 medium onion
• 3-5 cloves garlic
• a couple of handfuls fresh rosemary
• 2 tbsp olive oil
• 1-2 tsp paprika
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1/4 to 1/2 cup feta cheese (depending upon number of diners)

Preheat oven to 400F (230C).

Cut potatoes into wedges. Mine are usually no thicker than 2/3″ and no longer than 2 inches, but some of you with larger mouths can probably handle more hefty potato wedges. Roughly chop onions and mince your garlic. Chop rosemary in half if the whole leaf frightens you.

Mix garlic, onion, rosemary, salt, and olive oil together in a large glass or ceramic casserole dish. ((The wider the dish, the more evenly baked your potatoes will be, since they won’t be stacked on top of one another. If you have a dish large enough to spread them out it a single layer, use it. My oven doesn’t even fit a dish that size, but I can dream.)) Add potatoes and stir until coated with the mixture.

Bake for 25-35 minutes, stirring occasionally. ((I have a convection oven, so I baked normally for 15-20 minutes then lowered the temperature to about 180C and turned the fan on, which crisped up the tops nicely.)) Keep an eye on your potatoes and stir whenever the top layer seems crispy enough, redistributing the undercooked ones to the top. Sprinkle a little paprika over the potatoes each time you stir.

If the garlic and onion are a little caramalized or burned in the end, great! The flavor will be that much better.

Serve immediately, crumbling feta on top to serve. Makes two servings for me, or a whole meal for a family of four.

Related: Don’t know what to do with all that leftover feta? Bake it with some pasta! Recipe here.

These went straight from my oven to a fancy dinner party at a local museum. In case you’re not important enough to be invited to such an event, these can also be rolled flat and cut into exciting shapes, like dinosaurs or ferocious undersea predators.

Vertically Challenged Bread

INGREDIENTS:

• 2 cups butter, softened
• 1 cup white sugar ((Confectioners’ sugar can be substituted for a smoother finish, or 1/8 cup brown sugar added to increase moisture and enhance flavor.))
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• 1 tsp almond extract
• 4 cups all-purpose flour

Preheat oven to 350F (180C).

Cream butter and sugar until smooth. Mix in vanilla and almond extract, then add flour a little at a time until mixture holds together in a somewhat crumbly ball. ((Basically, add as much flour as you can without completely losing cohesiveness.))

Press into thick disc shape and chill in a ziploc or cling wrap in the fridge for at least 30 minutes.

Press (with fingers) into in a parchment paper-lined pan ((If you are going the roll-and-cut route, let the chilled dough rest on the counter for a minute or two before rolling it out on a well-floured surface, sprinkling flour as necessary to prevent sticking. Also keep in mind that it will expand a bit while cooking, so space your exciting shapes accordingly.)) of your choice (depending upon desired thickness) and bake for 10-12 minutes, or until very lightly browned at the edges. It will still be soft when removed from the oven, so pay attention to color rather than consistency.

If you want it to look like the real deal, cut into 3/4″ x 2″ strips while still warm and soft, then poke shallow holes along the surface of each piece with a fork.

Serve as is, or–for fancier occasions–decorate with powdered sugar and/or chocolate drizzle.

Killing two birds with one heavy lump of ginger, I justified the impulse buy and satisfied my ever-present Asian food craving at the same time. (Options for Asian food in Tangier are limited to a Chinese restaurant of questionable authenticity and an overpriced Thai joint where most of the key ingredients are either left out or found in cans.) Instead of chicken, I threw in some fresh farmers’ market veggies and hard-earned broccoli ((Broccoli is another one of those hard-to-find, only-on-Thursdays-every-other-week-if-you-know-who-to-ask commodities here, which is pretty upsetting for me because I tend to go through a kilo of broccoli in just two sittings.)) to make this stir fry completely vegetarian/vegan friendly. ((I come from a family of improvisational stir-fryers. My grandfather makes a mean chicken ginger stir-fry and my sister’s chili-jalapeno stir-fry is not for the faint of heart.)) I make no claims in regards to authenticity; only palatability. Trust me, the recipe woks.

Ginormous Ginger Stir-Fry

INGREDIENTS:

• 1-2 large heads broccoli (500g), chopped
• 4-5 cloves garlic, minced
• 4-5 tsp chopped fresh ginger
• 1 tsp ginger powder
• a pinch of ground black pepper (or red pepper flakes/chili paste)
• 2 large carrots, sliced
• 3 tbsp vegetable oil
• 3 tbsp soy sauce
• 3 scallions, chopped
• 1 red bell pepper, sliced
• 1 green bell pepper, sliced
• 1 yellow bell pepper (optional, but pretty)
• 2 cups snow peas, cut in half
• 1 cup green beans, chopped in halves or thirds
• 1 large zucchini or 2 small ones, quartered and sliced

Chop your vegetables!

Sauté one-half of garlic with one-half of ginger in 1 tbsp oil for 2-3 minutes.

Add snow peas, green beans, and carrots. Add remaining 2 tbsp vegetable oil and cook for 2-3 minutes, stirring constantly. Add broccoli, bell peppers, and . Cook for 1-2 minutes. Keep stirring.

Stir in soy sauce. Dissolve 1 tbsp cornstarch in 3 tbsp water. Mix into vegetables.

Add remaining half of garlic, ginger, and ginger powder. Add scallions and zucchini.

Cook vegetables over medium heat, stirring frequently, until tender but still crisp. This took about 15-20 minutes for me, but your cooking time may vary. If you have a real wok, ((And not an old, scorched, hand-me-down Moroccan saucepan.)) you can turn up the heat and reduce your cooking time. Add more ginger powder, garlic, and soy sauce to taste.

Serve with rice, couscous, or quinoa, or even alone. ((Directly out of a cold tupperware container at 11pm with your fingers, if you’re anything like me.))

P.S. This still didn’t use up all my ginger.

Enough was enough. I came home from work on Monday with one objective: finish that feta! And that’s exactly what I did. ((Bonus: I used up a bunch of lonely vegetables from my fridge. This recipe is a great catch-all for any vegetables you’ve got lying around. Old olives? Mix ’em into the sauce. Elderly eggplant? Go for it! Aging asparagus? Toss it in.))

Infinite Feta Baked Pasta

INGREDIENTS:

• 2 medium sized onions, chopped
• 1 green bell pepper, sliced ((Or however you prefer to cut peppers.))
• 1 red bell pepper, sliced
• 2 large carrots, chopped
• 3-4 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 tsp dried basil ((If you happen to have fresh basil, mix 1/2 cup or more in with the pasta and vegetables right before baking.))
• 1 tsp dried oregano
• a pinch of ground black pepper
• 2/3 cup finely grated parmesan
• 2/3 cup feta, coarsely crumbled
• 1.5-2 cups uncooked pasta ((I used tri-color rotini. This recipe would be delicious–and extra healthy–with any kind of whole wheat or spinach pasta.))
• 1 small jar pasta sauce ((Or 1.5-2 cups homemade pasta sauce. See my recipe here))
• 1 tbsp olive oil
• OPTIONAL BUT DELICIOUS: green beans, zucchini, broccoli ((Sautée the green beans and broccoli at at the same time as the carrots.))

Preheat oven to 350F (180C).

Boil a pot of water for the pasta. If you’re a good multitasker, just carry on making the pasta while you complete the next few steps. IMPORTANT: The pasta should be al dente, or even slightly undercooked, since it is going to be baked in the oven later. ((Nobody likes mushy pasta!)) Drain, cover, and set aside.

In a large pan or skillet, sautée two-thirds of the onions in olive oil with a liberal sprinkling of black pepper, over medium heat, for one minute. Add carrots and one-half of your dried herbs ((Plus green beans, broccoli, and any other slow-cooking vegetable you’re using.)) and continue to sautée for 3-4 minutes or until just tender.

Add green peppers, red peppers, garlic, and the remaining one-third of your onions. ((Plus zucchini and any other fast-cooking vegetable you’ve decided to add.)) Add the remaining half of the basil and oregano. Sautée for 2-3 minutes, or until peppers are tender but still slightly crunchy.

Pour the cooked pasta into a large, deep casserole dish. Stir in your sauce, then add all the cooked vegetables and mix well. Sprinkle parmesan over the top, then sprinkle the feta on top of that.

Pop your beautiful pasta & veggie casserole into the oven. Bake for 30 minutes or until the cheese is bubbly and beginning to turn golden brown. Garnish with extra fresh basil leaves or parsley, if you’re feeling fancy. You can decide how many people this should feed. Keep in mind that once you start eating this, it will be difficult to stop! ((Even though this was absolutely enormous, it only took me three meals to finish it all up. Yum yum!))

I have always loved minestrone, but it never made me giggle until I watched Green Wing for the first time. Here’s the scene in question:

So without further ado, I bring you minestrone-flavored minestrone. Vegetarian, vegan, relatively low-sodium, ((Relative to canned soup. Now that I’m a homemade soup enthusiast, I don’t know how I ever could have tolerated the lumpy, overcooked, way-too-salty stuff they put in cans.)) packed full of fresh vegetables, and utterly delicious.

Minestrone-y Minestrone

INGREDIENTS:

• 3 cloves garlic, minced
• 2 large onions, roughly chopped
• 5 carrots, sliced
• 2 cups green beans, chopped ((Yes, you can used canned, but let your conscience be your guide.))
• 3 large tomatoes, diced
• 1 large zucchini, quartered and sliced
• 2 cups baby spinach, rinsed
• 1 can kidney beans
• 2 cups tomato sauce
• 2 tbsp fresh chopped basil (or 1 tbsp dried)
• 1 tbsp fresh chopped oregano (or 1/2 tbsp dried)
• a pinch of paprika
• salt and pepper to taste
• 3 tbsp olive oil
• 2 cups vegetable or chicken broth ((If you are using bouillon cubes, the usual ration is 1 cube to 1 cup water.))
• 2 cups water
• 1 cup dry pasta ((I prefer ditalini in minestrone, but I couldn’t find any here so I used tricolor pasta instead, which really looks nice with the red shades of the soup.))
• 2 tablespoons grated parmesan

Make your chicken or vegetable stock now. I hate getting halfway through a recipe and realizing that I have to pause everything to make my stock. Do it first.

Chop chop chop your vegetables. I don’t know if I’ve ever shared this with you, but I actually put a row of small bowls across the kitchen counter, one for each type of vegetable. ((If there are two that go into the recipe at the same time, they can snuggle up together in one bowl.)) This may sound silly and unnecessary, but it makes it much easier when it’s time to add your ingredients, one by one. Plus, you can look at the neat little bowls of sliced vegetables and admire your fantastic chopping skills.

In a very large pot, ((Just look at all your vegetables to see how big this thing will have to be. Really big.)) heat the olive oil. Sautée your minced garlic for 2-3 minutes. Add 3/4 of the chopped onions plus about a third of your spices– including a liberal sprinkling of pepper, and continue sautéeing for 4-5 minutes, or until the onions are translucent. Add the carrots, green beans, and another third of the spices. ((This does not have to be exact. Just wing it.)) Sauté for 3 minutes.

Pour in the tomato sauce, chicken broth, and water. Bring to a boil. ((You can add 1/2 cup of red wine at this stage if you want, but I was too lazy to open a new bottle.)) Add kidney beans, spinach, zucchini, the rest of the onions, ((I frequently put some onions aside this way to have some crispiness in recipes in addition to the soft, fully simmered onions.)) and the remaining third of your spices. Cover and simmer for at least one hour.

In another pot, make your pasta. Al dente, though, because it will absorb a lot of moisture from the soup later on. ((Some recipes instruct you to pour the soup over your pasta just before serving. I don’t like this method, because it means that the pasta doesn’t have time to absorb any flavor of the soup. Others will tell you to just cook the dry pasta in the soup itself, but this minestrone is so thick that I’m not sure the pasta would cook all the way.))

Mix the pasta into the soup, cover, and continue to simmer until you’re ready to serve. ((You can also fill individual bowls with pasta, then pour the soup over it right before serving, which prevents the pasta from absorbing all the liquid.)) Feeds at least six quite hungry people, eight who don’t need second helpings, or ten who are saving room for dessert. ((Scale note for the photo below: that is a very large bowl with a tiny spoon and tiny bread.))

So do you know what I did? No, I didn’t banish him from my presence, my home, and the whole of Africa. I made hummus.

Hummus for Hungry Humans ((Suitable also for aliens with human-like digestive systems. But not cats.))

INGREDIENTS:

• 3 cups chickpeas, drained (about 2 cans or one large jar) (Save the juice!) ((If you’re buying dry chickpeas and rehydrating them yourself, good luck. If you have a friend named Neil who insists that correct preparation involves soaking them in tepid water for four days straight, it is best to politely refuse.))
• 1/4 cup tahini (also called tahina)
• 1/4 cup lemon juice (fresh-squeezed is best)
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1/2 tsp cumin
• 2-4 cloves garlic, minced ((I think I used five.))
• 1 red bell pepper
• a pinch of paprika
• extra garlic
• olive oil

Blender ready? Dump in the chick peas, tahini, salt, cumin, lemon juice, and garlic. Blend until smooth, adding a little of the chickpea juice at a time until it reaches your preferred consistency. I ended up using almost a whole can of juice.

Transfer to a container and chill in the fridge for at least 30 minutes, since the hummus will be warm from the blender! Chop your pepper into inch-long slices, spread out on a baking sheet, and bake in the oven at 350°F (170°C) until roasted. (The tips will be slightly blackened.) Put in a ziploc or container in the fridge.

To serve, put hummus in a bowl, smoothing the top. Add just enough olive oil to cover the surface, and sprinkle with freshly minced garlic and paprika. Add the roasted red pepper. ((Pictured above without pepper, through no fault of my own.)) Serve with carrots, green pepper, crackers, bread, or anything else you think might benefit from immersion in hummus.

A cute hummus story…

One of my father’s very favorite anecdotes about me involves hummus. As a child, I was regularly taken to various national parks across the western United States, some of them volcanic. One fateful day when I was about four years old, my dad decided to tell me a little about the rock cycle and pumice, the amazing sponge-like rock that weighs so little that it can float on water. Unfortunately, this was also the day he decided to introduce me to hummus, and pulled out a container of it for lunch. Upon hearing that I was expected to eat volcanic rock, I shrieked with horror, ran up a cinder cone, and refused to eat hummus until midway through my college years.

Upon moving to Morocco, I thought, “Aha! Tabbouleh here will be the best I’ve ever had! Beautiful farmer’s market parsley, fresh cucumbers, glowing tomatoes… I’m all set!” Well, almost. I soon discovered that bulgur wheat, one of the main ingredients, is nearly impossible to find here. ((The mediocre local Lebanese restaurant makes a bastardized version of it without bulgur and nearly acidic enough to destroy your taste buds.)) I looked through shop after shop, consulted friends, and even sent my Lebanese student home to question his mother. After months of searching, the bottom line seemed to be that bulgur wheat, like Thai curry and bagels, could not be found in Morocco for love or money. ((I actually haven’t tried trading love for bagels, though–for a good sesame bagel–it seems reasonable.))

Several weeks ago, in desperation, I summoned a crack team of one ((Thanks, Neil!)) to scour the city one final time. He returned with about four different types of wheat and grains but no bulgur, explaining that the Syrian grocery store was indefinitely out of stock for bulgur, but the shopkeeper had offered the others as oft-used substitutions. Nearly driven mad by my tabbouleh cravings, ((Fun fact: the largest dish of tabbouleh ever made weighed 4,324 kg (9,532 lb 12 oz). Fairly sure that would be enough to satisfy my craving.)) I caved and chose the likeliest-looking wheat, a type of wild barley. So here, without further ado, is my habit-forming tabbouleh recipe. If you live in the good ol’ USA, you should have no trouble heading out to your local grocery or organic market and purchasing quantities of bulgur that I’m sure would make me livid with jealousy. If you prefer to pretend that you live in a country where bulgur is a thing of legend, try out my recipe with barley, as I did. ((Other possible variations: quinoa, wild rice, couscous. Not for purists.)) Recipe adapted from this one.

Tangier Tabbouleh

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 cup bulgur ((Or in my case, barley.))
• 3 tomatoes, seeded and chopped
• 2 cucumbers, chopped ((I don’t peel my cucumbers, because I love the added texture of the cucumber skin.))
• 3 scallions, chopped
• 3 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 1/2 cups chopped fresh parsley ((Really important that you chop right before mixing! Nothing worse than chopped, wilted parsley. And don’t even think about using a food processor to chop the parsley. Chopping by hand releases the flavor much better.))
• 1/3 cup fresh mint leaves
• 2 teaspoons salt
• 1/2 cup lemon juice ((I squeezed my own- also recommended!))
• 1/2 cup olive oil

Place the bulgur (or barley) in a bowl and cover with two cups of boiling water. Soak it for 30 minutes. Use this time to chop your vegetables and put them in a large bowl. Mix the salt, lemon juice, and olive oil together in a cup.

Drain the bulgur. Stir it in with the vegetables. Pour the salt/lemon/oil mixture into the bowl and mix well.

Chill for at least 30 minutes in the fridge. The longer you leave it, the more flavorful it becomes. Several hours or even overnight is ideal. Don’t forget to give it a little stir before serving! If you want to get fancy, garnish with mint.

Feeds eight, or one of me at lunch every day for a week. Can be served with bread, but I tend to eat it unaccompanied out of a bowl.